Funny Would You Rather Questions

Absurd choices with no right answer. Good for warming up a room, a long car ride or a group chat that has gone quiet.

1. Would you rather leg-sized feet or feet-sized legs?
2. Would you rather have a front-butt or communicate solely through Twitter?
3. Would you rather burp pennies or fart nickles?
4. Would you rather have an entire choir singing 'halleluja' in the bathroom with you every time you take a dump or take a dump immediately every time you hear 'halleluja' sung?
5. Would you rather share a funny joke online or read a funny joke online?
6. Would you rather have laugh chimes or have fart sirens?
7. Would you rather be known for having the friendliest, firm handshake everyone remembers or have super-flexible, rubber-like arms (no bones) that let you do weird contortions but look odd?
8. Would you rather shout every time you talk or run everywhere you go?
9. Would you rather vomit marbles or sweat cheese?
10. Would you rather a tiny booty right under your nose or a giant nose right above your booty?
11. Would you rather taste something so cold it numbs your tongue or take a shower that alternates freezing and scalding water?
12. Would you rather have taste buds on your hands (so you can taste with touch) or be allowed to wear a ridiculous novelty hat every weekend (looks like a goofy poop emoji)?
13. Would you rather have your dominant hand be a pineapple or have everything you ever ate taste like pineapple?
14. Would you rather scream at full volume whenever you speak or run at full speed whenever you need to travel by foot?
15. Would you rather have a cartoon character's voice permanently or shrink slightly every time you sneeze?
16. Would you rather a nose the size of your fist with five times the smell intensity or a ten-inch-long belly button that sways to music?
17. Would you rather punch a cactus or kick an updog?
18. Would you rather move 6 inches forward or 6 inches back?
19. Would you rather shovel snow with a teaspoon or cut the grass with toenail clippers?
20. Would you rather have an armpit that dispenses sunscreen or have a hand made out of ham that regrows and doesn't hurt when eaten?
21. Would you rather have fingers as long as your legs or have legs as long as your fingers?
22. Would you rather get a tattoo from a famous artist or have a portrait painted by a famous artist?
23. Would you rather have wooden limbs or moo every time you blink?
24. Would you rather have ram horns on your elbows or have ram horns on your knees?
25. Would you rather change genders/sexes every time you sneeze or never be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
26. Would you rather have scissors for arms or have babies for feet?
27. Would you rather confuse similar-looking objects constantly or forget the names of common objects frequently?
28. Would you rather dance like nobody is watching or watch like nobody is dancing?
29. Would you rather try a new hobby every month or master one hobby over a lifetime?
30. Would you rather run into a Walmart screaming Leeroy Jenkins and charge through the front door on Black Friday or witness your parents run into a Walmart screaming Leeroy Jenkins and charge through the front door on Black Friday?
31. Would you rather burp so loud it could set off a car alarm or fart and set a delayed timer on the smell?
32. Would you rather sweat broccoli and cheddar soup or every movie you ever watch turns into Shrek halfway through?
33. Would you rather laugh with chimes or fart with sirens?
34. Would you rather be stuck in an extremely sweet little kids TV show or be stuck in a slightly terrible soap opera that's running out of ideas?
35. Would you rather never stop crying or never stop sneezing?
36. Would you rather be known for having a really bad toupee or be known for having a really good comb-over?
37. Would you rather sweat cream or sweat awesomeness?
38. Would you rather be a strawberry with human consciousness or be a strawberry with no consciousness?
39. Would you rather have muffins for hands or have corduroy skin?
40. Would you rather use new Reddit layout for a week or listen to Amy Schumer for 2 hours?
41. Would you rather teeth for fingers or fingers for teeth?
42. Would you rather spaghetti for hair or sweat ketchup with spaghetti hair?
43. Would you rather have the door close on your finger every time you go through a door or fall down every flight of stairs you go down?
44. Would you rather fight one duck sized mosquito or fight 1000 mosquito sized ducks?
45. Would you rather listen to 5 hours of Justin Bieber's Baby or listen to 5 hours of Rebecca Black's Friday?
46. Would you rather talk like Yoda or breathe like Darth Vader?
47. Would you rather tornado arms or fart gold dust?
48. Would you rather have Gilbert Gottfried's voice give you directions every time you drive or never be able to give someone your real name?
49. Would you rather have every song you ever hear be All Star or have every film you ever watch be Shrek?
50. Would you rather see all babies as muffins or see all muffins as babies?
51. Would you rather vaseline all over your hands or vaseline all over your face?
52. Would you rather every song you ever hear slowly turn into "All Star" by Smash Mouth or every movie you ever watch slowly turn into Shrek?
53. Would you rather turn into Dom Deluise for one random minute out of every hour or be unable to distinguish between babies and English muffins?
54. Would you rather have a bizarre beard that acts unpredictably or have unusual elbows that react to emotions?
55. Would you rather have an armpit that dispenses sunscreen or have a hand made entirely of regenerating ham?
56. Would you rather hands the size of children or children the size of hands?
57. Would you rather fingers the size of arms or arms the size of fingers?
58. Would you rather be a knight who must always serve a cocktail when asked, no matter what or own a large snake that only eats homemade biscuits but never gets full?
59. Would you rather have tornado-arms or have the ability to fart gold dust?
60. Would you rather have a monkey body with a human brain or have a human body with a monkey brain?
61. Would you rather have eyelashes for fingers or have fingers for eyelashes?
62. Would you rather own a rhino the size of a hamster or have a hamster the size of a rhino?
63. Would you rather be chased by 100 corgi-sized double-decker buses or be chased by two double-decker bus-sized corgis?
64. Would you rather sneeze grape jelly or every time you burp it tastes like gravy?
65. Would you rather have Cheeto fingers forever or be unable to distinguish between a baby and a muffin?
66. Would you rather mud wrestle your spouse or mud wrestle a stranger?
67. Would you rather have suction cups for hands or have wheels for feet?
68. Would you rather only eat mayonnaise or sweat mayonnaise?
69. Would you rather fight a dozen chickens with Mike Tyson's skills or fight Mike Tyson with the skills of a dozen chickens?
70. Would you rather change sexes when sneezing or not know the difference between a baby and a muffin?
71. Would you rather fart glitter or burp confetti?
72. Would you rather own a TV that constantly emits the low 'it's on' hum even with no input or eat the stringy banana pith (the stuff under the peel) every morning for breakfast?
73. Would you rather move things with your mind, but only to open and close doors or Fly, but only while continuously yodeling?
74. Would you rather release the stinkiest fart or release the loudest fart possible at the drop of a hat?
75. Would you rather have hair for legs or have legs for hair?
76. Would you rather hit the firecracker with an open palm or hit the firecracker with a closed fist?
77. Would you rather always have Cheetos fingers or have a mosquito buzzing in your ear?